Embracing All of Life’s Lessons
On October 7th, 2001, I was married. My 20th anniversary would have been this past week. In 2009, I found my voice again and brought this chapter to a close.
Would I change any of it? Do I live with regret? Nope!! The moment he proposed, I thought, “I can’t turn him down. This is what I SHOULD be doing at 26.”
None of it felt right, yet instead of listening to and trusting my intuition, I ignored it. Yikes - I was now in box-checking mode, racing through life, hiding my authentic self and true essence; becoming unanchored from my values and purpose. My light began to dim.
I took refuge in selling my soul to my career, surrounding myself with leaders who had unrealistic expectations and put so much pressure on me to perform, which does not bode well for a perfectionist (ooh, future post!). Over time, my armour thickened. I kept pushing myself harder in life and my career. In 2017, that all began to slowly change as I started my journey of returning home to my authenticity.
The failure of my marriage was simply a values misalignment. I’ve let go of the shame and embraced ALL the lessons learned along the way.
I’ve returned, solidly rooted in my values of communication, health and wellness, exercise, playfulness, connection, travel, adventure, philanthropy, family, balance, self-care and compassion, freedom, and leadership…. Shall I go on?!
I’m a recovering perfectionist. Some days I get it wrong. Owning my mistakes, I’m much gentler with myself.
I’ve learned to not attach to outcomes. Showing up, bringing all of me to everything with complete authenticity. I’ve learned to communicate my needs, set boundaries and stand tall in what I believe in.
And, the armour has dissolved. I feel deeply when my old patterns show themselves. Some days are more uncomfortable than others which means I’m growing in a newly found space of vulnerability. Writing my next chapter.
On October 7th, 2021, I honoured ME by escaping on my bike and time with two inspiring women. Wine, laughter and secrets were shared. While the universe sent me signs, I was exactly where I was meant to be.